HELP! I AM A SEX ADDICT - 8 (How to break free from sexual immorality)

“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age,” Titus 2:11-12 (New International Version)

Where sin is powerful, grace is even more powerful. Though we live in a world that is full of opportunities to commit sexual sin, though you may be under an urge to commit sexual sin, you must know that there is a GRACE in God which you have received (for those who believe in Jesus Christ) that gives you power to say no to sexual sin and gives you the ability to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this evil world. Do you believe this?

This is the grace that set me free. The grace does not remove me from being tempted, but I have the power to say no and walk away unlike before that I would give in to what the flesh says. Friends, I have been confronted with those situations that made me fall in time past after my freedom over and over again and the grace of God has taught and empowered me to say NO. I can tell you I have been delivered by the power of God not because I prayed or was determined, but by the finished work of Christ on the cross.

This may look simple but that is the truth that set me free. You must know that if you fall into sin it is not because you don’t have power to say no but you choose to do it. It is a deception to believe that you don’t have what it takes to say NO because you do. The devil and your flesh will sell this lie to you but do not cave in. What you couldn’t choose before because you were weak because of sinful nature, you can now choose because that nature has been dealt with.

When sexual sin comes knocking, you simply tell it, the man that used to patronize you is no longer here, he died and was buried more than 2000 years ago.

I read a story of a man in a book titled ‘A Heart Ablaze’ by John Bevere. It was of a pastor who after he was saved, gave up many former sins that bound him but he couldn’t shake off his habit of smoking two packs of cigarettes a day. The man said he prayed, fasted, confessed the word and asked others for prayers. After two years of struggling, he took his unsaved friend to an evangelist’s meeting at his church. That night the friend gave his life to Christ and was instantly delivered from cigarette addiction. Though he was happy for his friend, he was angry with God that after he had prayed, fasted and done all kinds of things to be delivered from habit of smoking, God had not delivered him. While he was crying out to God, ‘God ….why haven’t You delivered me? he said God told him ‘Because you still like them’. The man said he looked at the cigarette that was in his hand and he put it out and he never touched one again. John Bevere now wrote something profound: ‘over the two years span the pastor told himself and others how he wanted to be free, yet it was not his true desire, only his intention.

Having good intentions is not enough. Our intention of be freed must match with our desire. The grace that brings salvation (and deliverance) from sexual sin has been revealed, it empowers us to say NO. You can rise and say no today and you will be free because now you have what it takes to be free. Remember God will not demand sexual purity from you when He knows you don’t have the power to be delivered.

Be Warned

“There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.”Romans 8:1-2 (New King James Version)

“That the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.” Romans 8:4 (New King James Version)

You cannot afford to live a careless life because you are now a new creature. The condition of this freedom is for you to keep living for Christ- who is now your life. Remember you don’t have a life anymore. You lost that life the day you embraced Jesus Christ. The life you are living now, is not yours but Christ’s. That is why you can’t live out your will or do anything you like. You cannot afford to walk in the flesh because once you do you are exposing your life to the assault of the devil. 

I urge you today to walk in the liberty with which Christ has made you free and don’t become entangled again to the yoke of bondage of false teaching. May the Lord give you peace and understanding in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Before I draw the curtain on this write up let us consider Biblical practical tips on breaking free from sexual sin.

HELP! I AM A SEX ADDICT - 7 (How to break free from sexual immorality)

What This Means To Us

“For the love of Christ compels us, because we judge thus: that if One died for all, then all died;” 2 Corinthians 5:14 (New King James Version)

“The love of Christ controls us, because we know that One died for all, so all have died.” (New Century Version)

Note the phrase ‘we judge thus’ and ‘we know’. This understanding must dawn on us because this is the truth that sets free from any addiction or sin.

Who is this man that died for all? Answering this will not really be a problem because majority of us know it was Jesus Christ of Nazareth. But the issue is Christ was not the only One that died on that day. We all died too. His death was also our death. Hallelujah!!! Paul says this must become a knowing to us. That the day Christ died, something in me died with Him.

“I was put to death on the cross with Christ, and I do not live anymore — it is Christ who lives in me. I still live in my body, but I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself to save me.” Galatians 2:20 (New Century Version)

This is why Paul made this statement- I was put to death on the cross with Christ and I do not live anymore. It was not only Paul, I, Femi was also put to death on the cross with Christ and this also applies to you too. I don’t have a life anymore, Christ lives in me.

What Was It That Was Put To Death With Christ

“We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin.” Romans 6:6 (New Living Translation)

“And those who are Christ's have put to death on the cross the flesh with its passions and its evil desires.” Galatians 5:24(Bible in Basic English)

The nature of sin has been dealt with so sin can’t control us any longer. I love the way The Message put Romans 6:2-3

“I should hope not! If we've left the country where sin is sovereign, how can we still live in our old house there? Or didn't you realize we packed up and left there for good? That is what happened in baptism. When we went under the water, we left the old country of sin behind; when we came up out of the water, we entered into the new country of grace — a new life in a new land!”

I used to stay in Lagos few years back, I was living in NO 92 Ibadan Street Ebute-Metta, Lagos state, Nigeria but I live presently in Rumuodomaya area of Port Harcourt, Rivers state. Is it possible for me to live in my old house in Lagos while staying in Port Harcourt? Certainly no.

Flesh is the man responsible for us sinning even when we don’t want to. As long as flesh is alive we are under the yoke of sin, we are at the beck and call of sin even when we don’t want.  But what Jesus did on the cross was to go for the jugular of Mr. Flesh. As long as the Man has been dealt with, its product has lost its grip on us.

“Now the works of the FLESH are clearly revealed, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lustfulness… and things like these; of which I tell you before, as I also said before, that they who do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.” Galatians 5:19 -21 (Modern King James Version)

Adultery, fornication, lust, sexual sins are all works of the flesh, you cannot deal successful with sexual sin without eradicating the flesh. Remember to clear the cobweb you must kill the spider!!! This is what Jesus did on the cross, He dealt with flesh once and for all and all you need to do is to know this truth and walk in it. Flesh is no longer being dealt with, it has been killed on the cross.

“We know that sin doesn't have power over dead people.” Romans 6:7CEV

The death of the sin nature in us is the end of the control that sin has over us. It is now left for us not to allow sin to exercise control over us because the truth is it does not have what it takes any longer. That is why most of the Scriptures that talk about our dominance over the control of sin start with ‘knowing that…’ Read Roman 6. The reason is that these things are not commandments we must obey but information to renew our mind. This is the reason why God demands sexual purity because we have what it takes.

HELP! I AM A SEX ADDICT - 6 (How to break free from sexual immorality)

Kill the Spider

If you notice a cobweb in your room and you clear the cobweb, have you successfully cleared your room from cobwebs? I think the answer is NO. Something is responsible for the cobweb and as long as that thing is still alive it is just a matter of time, the cobweb will be back. So to deal with the cobweb, it is to kill the spider because cobweb is the byproduct of the spider.

This illustration may not be perfect but it gives us an idea that what you have been doing all this while is clearing the cobweb and that is why it has not been working but you must have to kill the spider.

Jesus Killed the Spider on The Cross

This is exactly what Jesus did on the cross, He killed the spider (nature of sin) that man inherited from Adam.

As a result of the sin of Adam we inherited the nature of sin called flesh which made us to become the enemy of God. Man came under the slavery of sin because of his nature. Even if he desires to please God, he can’t because he does not have what it takes to do so. Man will resolve not to sin against God but after some time he will go back sinning because he is under an influence (sin nature). And as long as man is under that influence he cannot please God.

Sin is a Law

“There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.” Romans 8:1-2 (New Kings James Version)

You will notice from this passage of Scripture that sin is a law. A law is a force that exerts control and constrains people to act the way they do. Sin is a force that exerts control and constrains people to act against God’s will even if they don’t want to. The condition in which the law of sin and death operates is the flesh. As long as the sin-nature (flesh) is there, sin will surely reign in us. Just like in the natural, there is a law of gravity that is in operation. As long as we are on Earth, anything that goes up must surely come down. An airplane is able to stay up for hours without being pulled down by the law of gravity, because a higher law was introduced which is the law of flight or law of aerodynamics. In the same way, for the law of sin to be dealt with, God simply introduced a higher law called the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus.

“The law was without power, because the law was made weak by our sinful selves. But God did what the law could not do. He sent his own Son to earth with the same human life that others use for sin. By sending his Son to be an offering for sin, God used a human life to destroy sin.” Romans 8:3 (New Century Version)

God’s Target in Dealing with Sin

“We aren't saved from sin's grasp by knowing the commandments of God because we can't and don't keep them, but God put into effect a different plan to save us. He sent his own Son in a human body like ours-except that ours are sinful-and destroyed sin's control over us by giving himself as a sacrifice for our sins.” Romans 8:3 (The Living Bible)

God did not send His Son Jesus Christ to the world so that we can be forgiven of our sins alone. Forgiveness is necessary but Jesus came for something more than that. My problem was not whether God will forgive me or not but it was frustrating to continue in a cycle of sin.

God sent Jesus to destroy the nature of sin. He came to destroy sin’s control or the Adamic nature (flesh). Jesus destroyed sin’s control by giving Himself as a sacrifice for our sins. This sin nature was abolished on the cross (Ephesians 2:12-16, Colossians 1:20-22).

“He used his servant body to carry our sins to the Cross so we could be rid of sin, free to live the right way. His wounds became your healing.” 1Peter 2:24(The Message)

To be continued…

HELP! I AM A SEX ADDICT - 5 (How to break free from sexual immorality)

3.   Positive confession and having determination.

This is another common thing people try to do when tackling sexual addiction. This may work for sometime but not for too long. Do you know why? The arm of flesh will fail. Once your confidence is in the flesh or yourself, it will not last (Philippians 3:3). That is why people make New Year resolutions and few days into the year they have broken the resolution.

The Truth That Sets Free

I know the question in your heart is, if these are not the solutions what then is the way out? What I am about to share with you is what set me free, and I know it will set you free. Jesus said ‘And you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free’ John 8:32. What Jesus is simply saying here is that, truth has the capacity to make someone free. You need to understand that as simple as the gospel is, it has enough power to set people free from the bondage of sin.

Salvation is a compound word which means deliverance, preservation, and safety. Paul the apostle said that gospel is the power of God unto salvation Romans 1:16. Which means the gospel has the power to bring deliverance even the book of Proverbs says “…but through knowledge shall the just be delivered” (Proverb 11:9). This means there is a deliverance that comes not by someone’s prayer but by being exposed to the TRUE GOSPEL.

Every child of God can defeat the world, and our faith is what gives us this victory. No one can defeat the world without having faith in Jesus as the Son of God. I John 5:4-5

What are the things in the world that we can defeat if we have faith in Jesus Christ?

“Do not love the world, nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him, because all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.”1Jn 2:15 -16

The question is, do you believe in Jesus Christ? Do you believe in His word? Or you believe in your experience more than what the Bible says? The Bibles says we can defeat lust or any addiction and what does the job is our faith; which is believe in Jesus and acting on His word.

The Cross Of Jesus

Your deliverance from sexual sin starts from you taking God by His word. You must not believe in your past or experience neither must you believe in your feelings. The enemy is aware of the fact that though the gospel is simple, it is still powerful that is why he tries to make us compromise the gospel or to remove the power in the cross by replacing it with something else. Once the power of the gospel has been removed, it cannot produce God’s desired result. It is sadder to note that the people the devil uses to do damage to the gospel of Christ are the preachers.

“Christ did not send me to baptize people but to preach the Good News. And he sent me to preach the Good News without using words of human wisdom so that the cross of Christ would not lose its power” 1 Corinthians 1:17 (New Century Version)

Paul the apostle laid it bare that when the gospel is preached with human wisdom, it will be robbed of its power.

“For the message about Christ's death on the cross is nonsense to those who are being lost; but for us who are being saved it is God's power. As for us, we proclaim the crucified Christ, a message that is offensive to the Jews and nonsense to the Gentiles; but for those whom God has called, both Jews and Gentiles, this message is Christ, who is the power of God and the wisdom of God.”1 Corinthians 1:18, 23-24 (Good News Bible)

The power of the gospel is the preaching of the cross. This is the gospel that the enemy does not want the church to preach today, because this is what brings transformation of lives. The solution to the world problem is inside the gospel; Jesus is the answer for the struggle of the world today. There is no solution to being free from sexual addiction or any addiction except in Christ Jesus.

To be continued…